To Stay or To Go?

On one of my trips to the U.S., I was in New York and didn’t have much to do, so I decided – even though it was snowing – to walk around Manhattan. Every few blocks my nose and ears would freeze, and I would enter a coffee shop or a Walgreens and hang around till I regained sensation in those organs.

One day around lunch, I entered an Italian pizzeria and ordered a slice of pizza. The person serving me asked, “You stay here?”, and I thought the guy wanted to know if I was from New York. I told him I was from India, and this was my first trip to New York, and blah blah blah... The guy gave me a strange look and asked again very slowly, “You stay here and eat?”, and that’s when it struck me – he wanted to know if I’d be eating my pizza there or taking it away.

So I learned that, “To stay” in an eatery means you’re eventually going to grab a chair / stool and eat, while, “To go” means you will take the food and leave. This bit of knowledge helped me tremendously in Austin and in Miami when I had to order food and, more often than not, it would be Spanish-only Mexicans serving me. However, they did understand, “To go” and, “To stay.” 

I then started noticing that, regardless of where you are in the U.S., some phrases and some patterns are common. It’s almost as if the same training manual is being used by everyone in that industry. For example, try calling for a cab in Dallas or in Baltimore and the conversation will always have information flow in a particular order:

1. You first give your telephone number
2. Then the address of your destination
3. And finally, the address you’re calling from
   

There is a process behind this protocol, so never change it, or you could be on the phone for a very long time. Of course, at the end, you will be told, “If your cab is not there in 15 to 20 minutes, give us a call back.” It usually isn’t, but when you call back, you’ll be told, “We’re working on it.”

Get out of the cab, enter your client’s office building, and, as you’re getting into the elevator, a complete stranger will greet you with a cheerful, “Good morning! How are you doing today?” While a truck driver will greet you with, “Wassup?”, or another hotel guest with, “Have a good one,” or a passerby with simply a nod of the head, corporate America will always say, “Good morning! How are you doing today?” or “Have a good evening,” and, on a Friday, “Have a great weekend.” There are hardly any variations to these.

I’ve never felt skeptical about the goodwill of strangers in office buildings wishing me a good day, but, recently, I’ve been noticing how regularly people end their emails with something that comes close to hyperbole. Here are some samples that make them incredulous only because of their effusiveness:

1. Thank you for your patience and support.
2. We really couldn’t have done this without you.
3. We appreciate the trouble you’re taking.
   

Regardless of my skepticism, I wonder if this ‘templatization’ of America is restricted to a few conversations that people have in their daily exchanges or is prevalent to the extent that it permeates the deeper layers of their social consciousness. I wonder if this need for extreme orderliness and conditioned politeness is something that binds this geographically vast and culturally, socially, and racially diverse country. Whatever the case may, I must thank you for reading this post; I truly appreciate it.

(Chaitanya P Hakkaladaddi is a senior Instructional Designer at Tata Interactive Systems, who has traveled frequently to the U.S. for client assignments.)

Comments

[Priya]

I cracked up at the end of this post, because I agree with you that the effusiveness could be a little bewildering for us from a more taciturn culture. I think the templatization in business was driven by their productivity focus, national chains, and standardization of processes to provide consistent service. Culturally, things can be very different - I feel it very acutely after staying in small-town midwestern America. Here, it is ok to pick up full length conversations with perfect stranges - I got stared out when I tried to do that in New York!